I met Jesus at Starbucks yesterday.
It was early in the morning, so I didn’t notice him there for about five minutes. I was just zoning out like I normally do before I’ve had coffee. When the line started moving, I noticed a flowing white robe in front of me. I looked up and saw a mass of shaggy brown hair.
“Hey, not to bother you, but…”
He turned around and grinned at me. His eyes widened obnoxiously, as if he couldn’t wait for me to finish my sentence so he could speak. Have you ever looked at a stand-up comedian’s face right after he’s delivered the punchline of a particularly risky joke? They smile sheepishly, as if to say “sorry, I didn’t mean it”—but they know exactly how funny they are, because the crowd’s roaring with laughter. That was exactly the look I saw on this guy’s face. I hadn’t realized Jesus was a cheeky son of a bitch.